The Psychology of Anger

Anger is something we all feel at a particular point in our lives. It’s a feeling of displeasure, dissatisfaction or irritation toward someone for an action carried out of a word said and most times can be so severe that it gives one the urge to harm the other.

Now my question is…… why do we always shout at people we are angry at? We all do, whenever we are so mad at someone and are apparently in an argument with them be it our children, colleges, friends spouse etc we find ourselves raising our voices and when asked why you are shouting, some would say I’m not shouting, I’m just explaining.

You will agree with me that the way you sound on a regular basics is not same with when you are angry, and in that state of anger only few people have mastered the act of staying calm, not uttering a word and leaving that environment for a while if need be to avoid saying words that even sorry can’t heal while the average person would say all there is to be said and later regret saying those things.

Psychology has proven that when two people are angry, there is a distance between them in their hearts and in a bid to cover up this distance, they have to shout to hear each other… Doesn’t make any sense right? Permit me to explain. There is something called Harmony of Hearts and that’s what happens to us every time we indulge in any form of conversation.

Ever wondered what happens when we talk to people or write down something on a piece of paper?  This is the Harmony am talking about. When we write, our hearts feel something and then our brain figures out what that feeling is and coverts it into a thought and in turn compels our fingers to put it down in writing.

Same with conversations, one person thinks of something and the other dose same, they both come together and state out their thoughts which can be in form of a suggestion, idea, opinion or feeling. And if it’s in Harmony, they both come to a conclusion, this can happen between friends, in formal meetings and even when we listen to the news etc. Now when these thought are not in concord, to reach an agreement, people argue because there is a diversity in their opinions their by creating a distance in their hearts.

This distance that has been created via someone’s incompetence, attitude, negligence, flaw etc is the reason you see people keeping malice and avoiding each other in most cases, this action in turn opens the heart to all forms of evil thoughts and pride.

Psychologically, it’s been proven that between two persons having an argument, there is this inner child in them that still wants to connect. I know with age and experiences people have come to so many conclusions about other people either a friend, business partner or a regular Hi pal but that notwithstanding we should endeavor to let go of this distance even if by chance it has been created, because in relating wit people, it must come to stay somehow.

But always know that anger is an emotion not a person just like depression, sadness etc and emotions are felt not harbored, these feelings come and go and the fact that you feel it now doesn’t mean it’s your identity, it doesn’t define you.

Don’t harbor them they aren’t yours to keep but circumstances’… Always bearing in mind that it’s people that take other people to hell, let’s always try our best to cover up this distance and let the inner child connect.

Peradventure it got to a stage where you couldn’t cope with that persons presence in your life any more, then just let go because some people really need to be kept far but don’t harbor that person in your heart. It’s a heart not a saving box.

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