I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror across the road from the furniture shop. I am very tired from today’s work out exercise but i declined a ride from Ijeoma, my gym buddy. I enjoyed the long walk to and from the gym, it gave me time to think and reflect, it gave me a freedom and liberation i couldn’t explain.
I was taken aback by my reflection, I didn’t realise that 3 weeks of exercise could make a significant difference. No wonder Willie kept staring at me this morning and even offered to drop me on his way out. I felt good about the reflection I saw, it was the reflection of a tall, beautiful and voluptuous woman, I was a vision of beauty in my pink and grey joggers with a pink t-shirt and matching head band. I had recently taken out my Brazilian weave and wore my hair in a fro just the way Willie liked it. I didn’t feel like fat, haggard Belema, I smiled to myself and put a spring in my step, I was evolving and gaining back my confidence.
From that moment I decided I would take deliberate steps to look good because every time i dressed up, I got back a piece of my self esteem which had long been lost. After a long shower, I dressed up in jeans and patterned top, put on my low wedge slippers and headed for the bank. My hair was still in a fro, I have had my hair natural for 4 years now so its very full and admirable. Trust me to make up and look like I was going for a photo shoot!
In my head I’m singing Diana Ross’s “Am up, I want the world to know, got to let it show.” I feel like dancing! I won’t let anyone steal this good feeling i have found, been hanging in depression for way too long!
I don’t know if I imagined it but I had people staring at me from the minute I stepped out of the gate. My car engine had knocked last month and darling husband said he didn’t have money to fix it. Then he launched into one of those his “if only you were still working” sermons! Hmmph! Like it was my fault that Tele mobile had been taken over by new management and over a thousand of us laid off our jobs. Sometimes some misfortunes or bad things are blessings in disguise! I now enjoy walking and it has helped my weight tremendously!
I was waiting across the road from the bank for a cab. I was done with my transactions sooner than expected, Willie sent me to do a transfer which didn’t take much time. I noticed a tall man who i had seen in the bank dash across the road. He smiled as soon as he got to where i stood.
“Hello” he said.
“Hello” I responded.
“which way are you going? Let me drop you off, its about to rain”.
“No thanks, I’m good” i responded.
“I promise I mean no harm, I see you’re married, so am I, I just want to help because of the rain”.
It was beginning to drop at that moment and I had no umbrella. My legs started moving before I could say no again. There was something about this guy that just made me trust him, we both dashed across the road to where his 4 runner jeep was parked. The clouds opened up to a heavy down pour the moment he started the car engine and his mouth was moving at the same time. I knew he was saying something but the sound of the rain drowned his words. Then he repeated again,
“Permit me to say this but you’re very beautiful”. “By the way my name is Ade”.
The eyes that smiled along with his lips, very expressive eyes and a dimple in one cheek.
I don enter one chance……
Dear Diary, need to go fix lunch before the kids get back from school.