Dairy of a Middle aged Woman, Page 19
Life is indeed in stages and men indeed are in sizes. Someone had said to me years back that middle age, that is 50 and above are years of fearlessness, and of courage, 50 and going forward gives a woman the grace to be adventurous and more care free though circumspect .
It was on this note of courage that I had the audacity to move back in with my children’s father.
Yes, My children’s Father is what he is and will be for some time. I didn’t move back in on the basis of love or remorse or any sort of romantic feelings but because of simple expidency..
Sometimes I tell myself I read too many Novels on romance and got my ideas all warped up. You know the last time I gisted about how Philip’s been begging me, looks like he got a coach to guide him because he did not relent , and I did not believe his sincerity , but exasperated one day, I found myself giving into his pressure which brought an applause from the children that shocked my core and broke me.
See these children oh! , ha ; eh; so , they were painfully bearing with me ? I thought I and them are on the same page; I was hurt sad and Disturbed. Why didn’t anyone of them say anything? How come I didn’t catch the pain of this separation in their eyes?
Dear Diary, at this breaking point I began to go back to the house I left . with a heavy heart Wondering if my cross is this heavy then how did Jesus Christ manage, sacrificing his comfort, his preference, his personal visions to step in for humanity via which today we can call him Abba Father there by enjoying the liberty to thrive.
The importance of the life of sacrifice women make daily all year round fell Expressly clear to me.
What sort of moving back was this , so I am swallowing my vomit for my children’s emotional stability and joy? It was not an easy decision to make, the girls didn’t help matters. I kept hearing Babe go house it is the children over everyone else . it is just for a while , stay there and build your budding business, yen ,yen ,yen. So like a big log of dead wood I was transported back finally which made everyone except me happy.
Then guess what? My first night back home, Otumba, rings me in the evening. My pulse and body temperature increased and my middle belt area suddenly awakens.
Will I ever really forget this man ?
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