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DIARY OF A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN PAGE 14

by Mitchelle Uzorka

Dear Diary, the other day I saw someone write on social media

“are you at peace with your scars or are you a still ashamed of them”
Joel Osteen.

Hmmmmm….

And i thought to myself this has been a grace I carry unbeknown to me. That ability to face my reality per time and forge on inspite of the pain in my heart and bones.

I used to think it was a “denial” tactic but today I see that it is a mental health skill. That ability to face my scars with all the pains and find peace within me, women my age need it as a daily dose of spiritual medication.

My short but intense relationship with my dear good friend, Otumba Dayo Haastrup, a man of great intellect, style and emotional intelligence left me with pains beyond my expectation.

Yet, I still find myself warming up as the memories of everyday of the relationship come to me. I feel a percentage of regret and shame I must confess, but then I feel gratitude for the time I spent in that space because it was all joy.

So what happened?? I know you are asking…
Hahaha….

Well… after I finally brought myself to ask about his love interests and the pandora box opened up two lively women as wives already, my ever astute head began to think and ask my heart vital questions.

How long will I be the latest toy??

Can I appear with him at events??

Does the life of a mistress sit well with me??

How can he effortlessly,seemingly carry on this intense relationship with me as if I was the most important thing in his world… because that was how he made me feel and it was all warmly nice and exhilarating, but it was a farce, period?

I mean, the man just got woman skills, his Mama raised him well on how to effectively manage my gender, It is showing with great results. The goshing from the women in his life over him no be here dear diary.

Why didn’t i realise this earlier? Desperation? Emotional Lack? Negligence? Wannabe spirit?

After his revelations that calm evening my head said I should go to social media and do some searches. So, off I went to social media.

Dear Diary, my discoveries automatically initiated a prayer vigil on my part.

I could not sleep a wink that particular night which led me to buy a pack of Kalms the very next day…..

Talk of the devil, my phone has been ringing and guess who’s calling……

I’ll get back to you, Asap.

Tonight I have a strong urge to take this call.

Talk later.
Xoxo.

N/B, i am back and strong, i have loads of gist for you. Stay with me.

Art: #FatherKilali

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